MENTAL MONTAGE: The Sincerest Form of Flattery

Marlene, as an extreme personality- here in Blonde Venus-- 

was practically begging to be caricatured.

The struggle for fame and celebrity in Hollywood is a continual one. Even when someone has a few films under his belt and has a somewhat familiar face, the work that goes into maintaining his star status and position is more difficult than the public can ever imagine. Therefore, it naturally follows that no celeb is ever comfortable on his pedestal, which at any moment may topple. If he takes a break to blink, his moment may be over forever. From the outside, it looks easy, but to the one swimming upstream, it is impossible to ever utter the words, "I made it!" There is one tell-tale sign, however, to intimate that one has evolved past the cluster of "working actors" to the realm of bona fide "star," or perhaps even to the land of "legend." If you're popular enough to be mocked, heavily referenced, or flat-out imitated, you may have finally surmounted the curve. Today's stars can look forward to a lambast on "SNL" or "South Park," but before the days of television, there were only movies. Here are some stars who were big enough to be [mocked] in pictures.

The most obvious example is the hilarious haranguing of this month's muse, Marlene Dietrich, by one of the Queens of Comedy, Madeline Kahn, in Blazing Saddles (left). Mel Brooks's lampoon of the Western genre was derived from many classic films, including Dodge City, but the reference to Destry Rides Again never becomes more obvious than when Madeline takes the stage as Lili Von Schtupp. "Lili," one assumes, is a reference to one of Marlene's classic songs, "Lili Marleen" and "Schtupp" to... well, that's one Yiddish word everyone understands, I think. Madeline's every mannerism as Lili is clearly taken from the assertively sexual "Frenchy" that Marlene portrayed in Destry, and Madeline's impression of Marlene's accented speech is too humorously exaggerated and aped: "Oh, a wed wose..." Nothing is so spectacular as her rendition of the original song, "I'm So Tired." Her comedic expertise makes the performance more than a hammy imitation, it is genius. With Gene Wilder's so-quick-you'll-miss-it gun draw and Cleavon Little's confident and sly portrayal of the west's first black sheriff, there are few moments for one to draw breaths between laughs during the film, but it is Madeline's Marlene that takes the cake. As Marlene was still alive when the film was released, one wonders at her reaction, if she even saw it. Another screen beauty, Hedy Lamarr, gets a "shout out" as well, since Harvey Korman's character is named "Hedley Lamar." However, Hedy was not flattered, and sued Mel Brooks for what she considered to be the gross use of her name.

Another great parody comes via Carole Lombard in The Princess Comes Across. This screwball comedy is a mish-mash of mystery, murder, and maritime love. Carole portrays actress wannabe Wanda Nash who, in order to conceal her identity, pretends to be a Swedish princess (Olga) on her cruise to America, resulting in a lengthy, pitch-perfect send up of none other than Greta Garbo. From the moment Carole appears as Olga, beautiful, glamorous, and aloof, there is no question as to whom she is imitating. Her distant, irritated poise and uber-European accent-- "Dis is verry annoying..."-- draws an instant comparison to the eternal, gorgeous hermit who only wanted to "be alone." Of course, Carole is at her best when the mask comes off and her abrupt Brooklyn character has time to rant and fuss about the stress of maintaining her hidden identity and dealing with all those dead bodies that keep piling up on deck. A romance too ensues between Olga/Wanda and bandleader King Mantell, portrayed by a constant Carole co-star, (there's an alliteration for ya'), Fred MacMurray. Greta's very anti-social, dramatic, enigmatic, and slightly egotistical persona made her an easy person to duplicate, but through Carole's comedic expertise the likeness is exquisite (see right). With that special Carole stamp, we have a character who is part elegant and part kooky. For one great Hollywood screen goddess to portray another is superb, and the divide between the easy-going, deviant manner of Carole versus the otherworldy iciness of Garbo is both clear and divine.

In the film Monkey Business, Groucho, Chico, Zeppo, and Harpo Marx all used their singing skills and slight physical resemblance to Maurice Chevalier to comic effect. On yet another seafaring voyage, the four brothers are stow-aways (see left) who cause the usual amount of Marxian chaos and girl-chasing on their way to America. Groucho woos Thelma Todd, Zeppo befriends a pretty passenger, and Harpo and Chico step in as the vessel's very under-qualified barbers, all while evading capture and the anger of one very miffed gangster. After they make it across the Atlantic, they are left in a quandary: without passports, they will  be unable to disembark. Luckily, they swipe an ID from a passenger who coincidentally happens to be the Maurice Chevalier. One by one, they take turns offering the passport to the authorities, who of course doubt their identity. Forced to prove themselves as the French crooner and Lothario, they each sing the Chevalier classic, "You Brought a New Kind of Love to Me," only to be denied access to American soil for their very poor impersonations. Ironically, the deliberately mute Harpo comes closest to victory, as he lip syncs the verses to a recording strapped on his back, but a slight malfunction botches his liberation as well. However, as in all things Marx, all's well that ends crazily, and hats off to Maurice for the honorary mention.

A very direct homage was paid to everyone's favorite ghoul, Boris Karloff (right), as well. "Arsenic and Old Lace" was a play penned by Joseph Kesselring in the early '40s. The plot revolved around two lovable old ladies who perform the benevolent service of murdering old, lonely men past their prime-- somewhat akin to the way the Eskimos set their elder community members adrift, or so I've heard. Their plot is discovered by their nephew, Mortimer, who is in the midst of possible matrimony. As if the shock of blood on his sweet aunties' hands isn't enough, he too has to combat an uncle who thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt, and his brother Jonathan, another murdering criminal, who returns home with a new face to hide his identity. Unfortunately, the doctor who performed the plastic surgery was intoxicated during the operation, and Jonathan came out looking like... Boris Karloff. Of all the horrifying faces to be trapped with! Audiences totally responded to the joke, which obviously runs throughout the entire play. Of course, the real clincher was that Boris Karloff was playing the role of Jonathan himself! Sadly, for various contractual reasons, Boris was unable to participate in the film version of 1944, which starred Cary Grant as Mortimer and the capable Raymond Massey stepping in as the facially mutated Jonathan. Since the play and the film made Boris even more immortal than he already was, I suppose he had the last laugh.

Sometimes, in the quest for stardom, one starlet makes it over another by a hair. This was definitely the case with Veronica Lake, whose iconic 'do (left) made her a sensation in her own day and keeps her a legend in ours. Ronni's hair was her "thing," just like Marlene was known for her gams and Jimmy Durante was known for his schnoz. Articles were written about her mop's hygienic upkeep and daily grooming regimen, public service announcements for safety were made with her hair used as a prop, and countless jokes were made at her expense. Possessing a good sense of humor, Ronni took the jests in kind. After all, they only helped to boost her appeal. If it took her mane to keep her in the mainstream, then so be it. Yet another reference to her famous tresses was made in Billy Wilder's first directorial effort, The Major and the Minor. Ginger Rogers, in yet another case of hidden identity, runs into trouble when she cannot afford an adult train ticket, which causes her to pose as an adolescent for cheaper fare. Unfortunately, she gets mixed up with, and sexually attracted to, fellow traveler Ray Milland while in disguise and winds up at his military academy still portraying a precocious pre-teen. Forced to attend a junior dance, she encounters a room full of young women who "all think they're Veronica Lake": cue camera pan to a row of seated girls with their faces half-covered in hair. It is a priceless guffaw that is typical of Wilder's comedies. Not only was it a fantastic gag at the time, but this small, hilarious reference also places it firmly in its timeline when modern viewers watch it today.

Speaking of sexpots... Marilyn Monroe topped them all (right). Her star power would be exemplified ad nauseum during her life, as it continues to be in her death, but interestingly it too was brought to life via Jack Lemmon. The two had worked together in the film Some Like It Hot, and while the consummately professional Jack was a little put off by Marilyn's at times erratic behavior, he could not deny her inexplicable charisma and warmth, which in the end gave him a soft spot for her. A year later, now as one of Billy Wilder's favorite actors, Jack was given the leading role in The Apartment opposite Shirley MacLaine. Acclaimed for its comedy and sympathy, it in a way reunited Jack with his conflicted friend when one particular scene pays homage to Marilyn-- although, since Billy too worked with Marilyn, this was a way of professionally tipping his hat to her screen power despite their post-Hot feud. Early in the film, Jack's C.C. Baxter is called by work colleague Joe Dobisch (Ray Walston), who is in a frenzy, because he just picked up a girl and has nowhere to take her for a sexual rendezvous. Since Baxter's apartment has become the go-to for cheating spouses, Joe asks for the use of his digs. When Baxter begs off so he can rest, Joe becomes adamant. The girl, he insists, is exceptional: "She looks like Marilyn Monroe!" With that, how can Baxter refuse? He gives up his room so that his work superior can live out every man's fantasy-- or at least as close as a guy like him will ever get. "Marilyn" and "Monroe" were apparantly the secret passwords.

  

Marilyn co-operated in another public celeb kudos earlier in her career when she starred in How to Marry a Millionaire, however Lauren Bacall rightfully maintains the bulk of the credit. The movie, of course, is about three lovely but struggling young women (Lauren, Marilyn, and Betty Grable) who are Hell-bent and determined to marry well to rich men. In the film, Lauren befriends the elder but always gentlemanly William Powell, who resists her advances due to their May-December age gap, yet later decides to court her in earnest (see left). In doing so, the other two gals question Lauren's choice-- he is old after all. But, Lauren rebuffs their quips by making an example of all of the handsome older men in the world: "I've always liked older men. Look at Roosevelt, look at Churchill. Look at that old fellow what's-his-name in The African Queen. Absolutely crazy about him!" In this case, the crack wasn't just business, it was personal, for in real life Lauren was already married to Queen star Humphrey Bogart-- her senior by nearly 25 years. One imagines he found the cinematic joke hilarious and, of course, appreciated the extra publicity.

Lauren Bacall enjoys a day off with her "old man."

MENTAL MONTAGE: The Sincerest Form of Flattery

NOW, THAT'S FUNNY: Part I

I've got a new category of interest for you all. Sometimes I come across a funny or strange story that I find entertaining, but which I find difficult to tie in with the other topics I present on this site. Thus, I have developed a new article formula for the misnomers, miscellaneous, and mystifying occurrences in celeb culture. Sometimes, these blurbs will reveal humorous moments, other times they will reference complete head-scratchers. In either case, they are movie star quips, flips, and conundrums that will make you go, "What? Really? Hahahaha!" At least, I hope so...

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Let's kick things off with October's vixen, Ava Gardner. Ava is remembered among friends as having a vibrant energy and a wicked sense of humor. Her laughter was quite infectious, and her self-deprecation often left those around her in an uproar. For example, she frequently made herself the butt of the joke (literally) around paramour and husband #3, Frank Sinatra (together above). When Ava and Frank first got together, they went through a rough patch of public hatred. Frank was married to wife Nancy at the time, so he was labeled a philanderer and Ava a home-wrecker. In addition, Frank's career was in a steep decline, which would not pick up until he shot back to fame and appreciation for his performance in From Here to Eternity. For this reason, he was often down in the dumps. Ava's derriere was her most notable asset (pun intended), and she knew how much Frank liked it. So, when he was upset about his lack of movie roles or declining singing career, she would say, "Here, rub my ass for luck!" He always obliged. After their divorce, they would remain lifelong albeit tumultuous friends, and Frank would often tell her how much he missed her lucky rump.

Ava knew the bounty of her booty long before Frank came along, however, which brings me to the real point. When she was filming One Touch of Venus, her likeness was sculpted for the actual statue used in the film (left). Her luscious, nude form was so provocative that the studio had artist Joseph Nicolosi start over from scratch to make a less sexy, more clothed representation. Since the final product is pretty smokin', it makes you wonder what the original looked like! So too did the studio create a promotional scam to gain the audience's attention, making miniature Ava/Venus statues. Publicist Bob Rains brought the initial prototype into Ava's dressing room for her to look at. Ava held the little Venus in her hands and said, "That's not my figure." She then removed a chunk of clay from the chest and placed it on the statue's rear. "That's more like my ass!" she said.

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When Anthony Hopkins was given the opportunity to work opposite Katharine Hepburn in one of his first major film roles, he was both ecstatic and nervous. To come toe-to-toe with a reigning movie queen-- who was indeed playing Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine in The Lion in Winter (above) opposite himself as Richard the Lionheart-- was a dream he found almost impossible to believe. However, he found Kate to be completely down to earth, spunky, and generous. She gave him some of the best advice of his career, which was "Don't act, just say the lines." He was also quite taken with her voice, which was so powerful and unique. Her familiar New England drawl had become by that time as infamous as the lady herself. Attracted to the caricatured way she spoke, Anthony kept the memory of her natural yet calculated undulations in his pocket for future use. In his later career, he returned to good ol' Kate and her staccato accent for inspiration, adapting her way of speaking for one of his own characters: Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs (below). You may not have noticed the resemblance before, but you definitely will now. Just imagine Kate asking for fava beans and Chianti. Uncanny.

~ ~ ~

Speaking of Anthonies, Anthony Quinn (left) had a run in the with Grande Dame Mae West when he was a young, struggling actor. A friend got him a meeting with Mae when he heard that she was backing a play about John Barrymore. Anthony could do a heck of a Barrymore impression, so he thought maybe he could score a role. However, having heard the rumors about her, he assumed that she was a compulsive sex-goddess, who would certainly make a play for him. In his youth, he was known for his exotic masculinity and unconventional good looks, thus the he-man was a bit afraid of her! What if she made a move? Should he, could he, refuse? In his mind, he found the gender roles switched, with him the coy and nervous young thing and Mae the sexual predator with a lustful appetite. 

He was, therefore, surprised, when he entered Mae's abode and found her to be nothing but nice and surprisingly petite, (as seen right). She was sweet, accommodating, and listened appreciatively to his audition. Quinn got a bit uncomfortable when she gave him a tour of her home, which included her bedroom complete with mirrored ceiling. No moves were made, but when she showed him to the door, she asked to feel his bicep. Quinn blushed but obliged. "Very nice," she said. At that, they said goodbye. Years later, Quinn relayed this story to John Barrymore himself, whom he had befriended. John's response: "You mean with a come-on like that, you didn't do anything! That's not a very good impersonation of me." 

 But then, John (above) wasn't exactly a shrinking violet. In a separate bit of information, the notorious lecher once drunkenly entered the Ladies Room at a restaurant by mistake. When a matronly woman entered, she was quite shocked to see him standing in one of the stalls. "Sir, this is for ladies!" she said. John turned around, swung his "appendage" at her and said, "So is this."

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Greta Garbo (above) is notorious for being enigmatic and eccentric. Because she took Lon Chaney's advice to maintain an aura mystery with regard to the public, Garbo has remained as fascinating and alluring all these decades after her heyday. Our curiosity continues to draws us to her. She belongs in that small cluster of celebs that you can't quite figure out, such as Marilyn Monroe or Marlon Brando. What was it that made these odd ducks tick? I can't answer that one for you, so instead I'm going to throw another log on the fire.

Greta had a very small group of friends that she collected over the years. Every once in awhile, her shyness and aloofness would disappear at parties, particularly in her early Hollywood years when she was on the arm of her beloved John Gilbert. But in her later days, she kept a few friends close and everyone else a few thousand leagues away. One of her pals was Sam Green, an art dealer whom she respected and admired. Sam was used to Greta's "come here, go away, come here, go away" mentality-- keeping people at a distance and then calling them back when she was lonely. He would get frustrated with the game, but he had a soft spot for the strange, sad girl underneath the confusing facade. He too would spend a big chunk of his life trying to get to know Greta and coming up empty handed. The woman was... indescribable, as this next tidbit will exemplify:

The Aging Movie Queen

One day Green was visiting with Greta at her New York home, long after her days in the movies. The now elderly Greta left the room to mix some drinks in the kitchen. Sam grabbed a handful of peanuts off the coffee table, and he accidentally dropped a few on the ground. When he bent to pick them up, he saw a strange shock of color underneath the couch. Bending down farther, he saw a cluster of troll dolls, all standing in a row. He couldn't believe his eyes! What in the world would the Queen of Cinema want with all of these ugly little things? He shook his head, sat back up, and didn't say a word when Greta returned to the room. He never mentioned the dolls to her, but on every future visit, he would peek under the couch when he got a chance. Each time, he would see the dozen or so dolls, always in different positions. He never knew what exactly Greta did with them, but he always imagined that the aging madame brought them out when she was lonely and had them enact little plays for her. Who knows... Greta, you're a quandary.

NOW, THAT'S FUNNY: Part I

STAR OF THE MONTH: Grace Kelly

There have been so many beautiful women in cinematic history that it is difficult to choose the most beautiful of them all. Certain names, of course, are mentioned more than others: Garbo, Dietrich, Hepburn... Louis B. Mayer named Hedy Lamarr (really Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler) after the fallen Barbara La Marr, whom he deemed the most beautiful woman in show business, (quite the compliment). Grace Kelly too remains one of the few whom we hold close to our hearts, with men admiring her beauty and women trying to emulate it. It is quite possible that we could give her a promotion from her "Princess Grace" status to make her "Queen Kelly," the most beautiful of all Hollywood beauties. Faces like this, after all, don't come around every day.

Grace was more than a pretty face,  however. Her exteriors merely amplified her inner light: a passion, kindness, and allure that could not be duplicated (no matter how hard Hitchcock tried, hello Vertigo). Her distance, manners, and class put her in a category all her own, and her talent made her deserving of her elevated position in the public eye. Placed high on a pedestal by her fans, she became the unobtainable Goddess, admired from afar and thus more desired than ever. Her collaborations with Hitch (Dial M for Murder, Rear Window, and To Catch a Thief) catapulted her to an even greater position of fame, yet still she remained separate, as if protected by a crystal pane of glass. In life, you always want what you can't have, and so the world fell in love with Grace, who always gave just enough to keep us guessing, keep us wanting, and keep us coming back for more.

Grace on the set of Rear Window with

Hitch. She was his #1 muse by now.

What is most interesting is that this was no publicity ploy or calculated business move. As shrewd as Grace was, she never lied to the public or put on airs to advance her career. Her alleged aloofness was genuine modesty and self-discretion. She may have concealed, but she never misled. The woman she appeared to be was her true self, or at least some portion of herself. There is always more that people don't see, and for a shy, private person like Grace, there was a lot more brimming underneath the surface than the general public would ever know. Elegant and passionate, Grace was also a fighter, but she never used her fists. Instead, she used cunning and style. She went against her family's wishes to be the actress she wanted to become; she went against Hollywood's pleas by saying "farewell forever" and marrying Prince Rainier III of Monaco. She leaned on no one, she asked for nothing, and everything she became she built with her own two, delicate hands. She is rarely given credit for this, seen as merely a pretty girl who got lucky because of her looks. True, her perfectly formed features opened many doors, but the number of "pretty girls" who crash and burn under the pressures of movie town prove that there was much more going on with Grace than her face.

Decadent and charming as she was, Grace was still picked on by the press and the public. Once you're on that pedestal, people love to tear you down. Most often, she was accused of bedding her co-stars, the majority of whom were married. She is linked to Gable, Cooper, and Milland, but only her affair with William Holden is substantiated. Some people claim that she slept with Hitchcock (please) or Bing Crosby, but though Bing fell in love with her on the set of The Country Girl, Grace did not return the sentiment. Everyone fell in love with her it seems; the poor girl couldn't help it! Her true focus was her work, and her diligence gained her a reputation in Hollywood as one of the most professional and unpretentious people in the business. After her struggles to gain complicated and interesting roles, she won herself an Academy Award for her pained and raw performance in The Country Girl, solidifying her reputation as a genuine artist.

 Grace was given her 1955 Oscar by William Holden, 

Co-star and acknowledged lover.

After taking hold of the nation, and the world, she made a handful of movies, and then she was gone. She fell in love with the Prince of Monaco, surrendered herself to a life of duty, family, and some say loneliness, and never returned. Hitch would try to woo her back with Marnie, she herself would make an unreleased short film in the '70s called Rearranged, but a comeback was never to be. She then suffered a brain hemorrhage while driving with her daughter Stephanie, causing her car to go over a hill into a precipice. She succumbed to the effects of a resulting stroke, was taken off life support, and out of this world. Though shockingly wrenched from our grasp, she would have remained as enigmatic and enticing as ever had she lived to be 150. Somehow, she was always ever present, as she is now-- like an ethereal, gossamer blanket enveloping us in her warmth. We miss her and we don't, because she has never left and never will.

Grace on her wedding day with hubby

Prince Rainier III of Monaco.

They say Hitch made her a star, and Rainier made her a Princess, but Grace did all right all by herself. Of all the Kelly siblings, she was voted least likely to succeed. She was the weak one, the sickly one, the quiet one... But it is always the quiet ones you have to look out for. Not satisfied with a ho-hum existence, discontented with her performances-- which she believed could have been better-- and constantly pushing for more in every way, Grace wouldn't stop until she had achieved all of her goals and become the woman she had always wanted to be, even if it went against the grain of every one else's expectations. We remember her as a fashion icon, a sultry adulteress, or a movie star, but I think of her most often as a rebel, and a most atypical one at that: one guided by kindness, generosity, fairness, and spirit. She brought change without ruffling feathers, she raised temperatures by merely raising an eyebrow, she altered cinematic history by simply doing what she thought was right and honest. The coolest Hellraiser you ever met, the snow-capped volcano: Grace Kelly.

Happy September Folks! Go here for more on Ms. Kelly and her fascinating life.

STAR OF THE MONTH: Grace Kelly

BITS OF COINCIDENCE: Part Three

One of the things that made Tony Curtis such a committed film actor was the fact that he was an avid movie fan. From boyhood, he sought escape and enjoyment in the seats of the local movie theater. Everything about Hollywood seemed delicious to him: the artistry, the fame, the money, and-- of course-- the women. Imagine his incredible pleasure when years of dreaming and unshakable determination brought him to Los Angeles via the US Navy on his way to Pearl Harbor (his left pic is a later studio headshot). Setting foot in the Hollywood Canteen that night in the early 1940s must have felt like entering the Garden of Eden! (Or should I say, Allah)? Star struck and agog at his surroundings, Tony was especially taken with Gloria De Haven, the sumptuous actress generously making an appearance at the Canteen for the boys that night. 

The brief encounter would prove to be a mere preview of things to come, for it seems that Ms. De Haven could sense the star power in the handsome young officer. Even decades later, Tony can remember the intense and exciting feeling he had when he and Gloria briefly locked eyes from across the room. It was a memory that would keep him warm during the time he spent cooped up in a submarine headed for Guam. Just as the eternal dreamer was able to take his childhood aspirations for filmdom and make them fact, so too did he take this split second with Gloria and turn it into something a little more substantial. The two would be reunited on the set of So This Is Paris in 1955 after Tony had become a legitimate Hollywood actor. Oh, and they would have a heated affair too. The tryst was brief but well-remembered. Tony still recalls Gloria as one of the two co-stars he ever really fell for. (The other was Suzanne Pleshette).

Tony sure could pick 'em!

Tony wasn't the only actor to be flabbergasted in the presence of a movie starlet. Before Rudolph Valentino (looking dapper, right) became the epitome of male sexuality, he was just a struggling actor trying to get by in NYC. One day, he "got by" Mary Pickford, who was dining with her mother at a Manhattan restaurant. Rudy was stunned to see the world's most famous woman a mere stone's throw away, but instead of being tongue tied, he walked right over. He earned brownie points by introducing himself to Mary's mother Charlotte first, and then politely turned his attention to the screen's first diva. Mary was very gracious in accepting his sincere compliments for her work and then patiently gave him advice on how to advance his own career. He clearly listened, and years later Mary probably struggled to reconcile the screen's hottest heartthrob with the humble young fop from her memory. After Rudy had established himself as an actor, the two began running in the same circles. Rudy was a frequent guest at the illustrious Pickfair, although Doug Fairbanks never took too much of a liking to him. Doug liked to be the center of attention after all, and the handsome Rudy was one Hell of a scene stealer.

Little Mary

Rudy was one actor who could return the favor. Just as Mary had been friendly to him when he was a nobody, so too would Rudy always treat those around him as equals. He would emulate the kindness bestowed upon him by the mega-movie-star by lavishing it upon other hopefuls that he would meet in later life. For example, while filming The Sheik, the newly famous Rudy, riding high off the success of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, took note of the many young extras on the set. Most of them were starting out in the business, nameless and faceless, and probably completely starstruck by his presence. To make them feel at home, he allowed several young ladies to take a turn riding his horse as he led it around the set. Two of his riders? An 8 -year-old Loretta Young and her sister Polly Ann, both dressed head to toe in Arabian garb. It made their day! (The three Young sisters are pictured left: Loretta, Polly Ann, and Elizabeth-- a trio of lookers).  Years later, Loretta would remember fondly watching a jovial Rudy ambling around with his guitar and singing between takes. It was quite an experience for a smitten young girl.

Loretta, age 14, during filming of Laugh, Clown, Laugh

 Not all meetings between stars are quite so pleasant. Some are just downright awkward, such as the next case. For some time, Jean Arthur and Greta Garbo were vying or the title of "Most Elusive Lady in Hollywood." Fittingly, the two had never met. Jean (right) was sympathetic to Garbo's plight, feeling that on some level she understood her need for privacy and personal space. She even respected her for it: "Her belief that only her work is important to her public. I feel that way, too." What Garbo felt about Jean is unknown, (as is pretty much everything else that went on in Garbo's head). Feeling an unspoken camaraderie with her Swedish counterpart, Jean volunteered to deliver a package to Garbo on behalf of a mutual friend. After all, Garbo was renting a house nearby. It seemed neighborly. Jean was nervous to finally come face to face with the Great Garbo but was also honored-- and a bit excited-- at the chance of an introduction. 

In typical Jean fashion, her knees began to shake as she approached Garbo's temporary abode, but she mustered up the courage to ring the doorbell. A servant let her in, and she waiting anxiously in the front hall. She looked up to see the devastatingly beautiful Greta floating cautiously down the stairs. After sputtering out an explanation for her presence, Jean quietly handed over the package and watched as Greta turned away and opened it. Inside was a huge diamond pin! Jean's eyes were as big as saucers! After a few seconds of silence, Greta turned back around, looked at Jean and said, "Vy don't you mind your own bizness." She then turned and made her way back upstairs. Shell-shocked, Jean equally turned on her heels and ran out the door. She never had a meeting with Garbo again!

This less-than-inviting gaze is

probably similar to what Jean encountered that day!

Happy weekend! :)

BITS OF COINCIDENCE: Part Three

STAR OF THE MONTH: Rudolph Valentino

Rodolfo, Rodolfo... Would "Valentino" by any other name have smelled so sweet? "Guglielmi" doesn't have quite as nice a ring to it, but that most beloved of all silver screen faces still retains his dear perfection nonetheless. Pardon the poetic waxings, but that is the Valentino effect, isn't it? Despite his 80+ years of absence, Valentino and the romance surrounding him remain just as contagious, scintillating, and provocative as ever. He seems a fitting choice for July, as our temperatures start to rise with the escalating summer weather. What is it about this guy that will not fade away? What it is about us that refuses to let him???

Perhaps more than any other star of his era, Rudy represents the majesty and poetry of the silent screen. Despite the fact that his career and life were cut short after a mere 31 years, despite the number of flops he made and the way he was personally attacked by the scrutinizing public, he remains more famous and familiar than most of his contemporaries. Garbo and Chaplin are two other survivors, but their hefty careers and iconic personae serve as explanation. Rudy had only a handful of hits, yet his name and face will spark a look of recognition in almost anyone's eyes. While even greats like Gloria Swanson and Thomas Meighan leave many scratching their heads, Rudy is an answer before there's even a question. His "stamina" is partly the result of chance. Rudy burst onto the scene and established the dark, male hero during the roaring twenties when people were finally ready for change. The first film star of his kind-- ethnic, Italian, dangerous-- he paved the way for the others who were to follow, but maintained his notoriety as the first. This is a fact that many forget today, and for which Rudy, who had to suffer his share of prejudice and bigotry, should be respected for.

With good pal Nita Naldi in Blood and Sand

But there is much more to it than that. That is purely circumstantial. The meat of the matter is that Rudy had a special and romantic quality that made him and his performances infinitely palpable and intensely poignant. Audiences couldn't help but be effected. This emotional and adventuress young man developed into a sensitive and dedicated actor, whose success was a product of the fact that he wasn't afraid to feel and feel deeply. Whether suffering the pangs of love, incensed with anger, or indulging in a boyish joviality, the screen radiated his depth and warmth, and the world lavished in it. So powerful was his effect that in addition to pulling throngs of women to him like moths to a flame, so too did he attract the unmitigated rage of the male populace. The jealousy of the male ego spawned a plethora of negative public attacks on Rudy and his masculinity, so that over time he would be falsely remembered as a "sissy" and a "pink powder puff." I guess guys can be just as catty as girls...

The truth is, Rudy-- despite rumor of his sexuality and whatever side of that argument you choose to take-- was "all man" as they say. Rudy was an overachiever, feeling and doing all things at 100%, whether it was sculpting his body, evoking powerful emotions, or eating his famous spaghetti. He was an athlete and an aesthete, a stallion and an artist. It only makes sense then that in his death, he should be remembered in all of these different ways, whether adored or abhorred. His refusal in life to be just one thing or settle into one definite role left us with a catalog of faces and identities to grapple with. In his death, we still argue over who Rudy was, and the controversies surrounding him-- his sexuality, his marriages, his sordid past-- only add to the mystery about him. His enigmatic nature and confounding persona echo throughout our past and present and indefinitely will do so in the future. But who would want to live in a world without him? 

Valentino is love: love's avenger, love's captor, love's captive, and love's martyr. Yet we are the ones still held prisoner. The sheik, the toreador, the bandit, and the eternal romantic hero, he lives forever in a world of silent beauty. Fittingly, the silent era died right after he did. After all, no kingdom can survive without its King.

(There is more to Rudy than I can even begin to discuss here, so for more please go to my Myspace page, and check out: BIO I, BIO II, DEATH and CONTROVERSY).

STAR OF THE MONTH: Rudolph Valentino

STAR OF THE MONTH: Jean Arthur

Well, it's time for a new month and a new starlet to adore. To kick things off this summer, I have selected the lovely and talented Jean Arthur. But be prepared, this lady isn't all that she seems...

Jean Arthur was a pip! From her shrill yet adorable little voice to her feisty and perplexing behavior, you never knew what this woman would do or say next. In fact, neither did she! Spending her life in a fog of confusion, Jean never understood how or where she fit into this whole Goddarned mess of a world, and she was too insecure to try. Instead, she turned to acting, where a script could tell her exactly who she was, where she was, and what she was supposed to do. Only in the camera's gaze or on the sturdy boards of the theatrical stage did she find peace. Those moments between "action" and "cut" were the most secure and comforting of her life. Unfortunately, the boundless time between "cut" and the next call to "action" were emotionally back-breaking, fearful, nervous, and sometimes downright dangerous.

From Easy Living

A naturally insecure individual, Jean has been labeled as the poster girl for the "inferiority complex." Perhaps this attitude came as a repercussion to her father's abandonment of her, her mother, and her two elder brothers. Hubert Greene, her dad, was always coming and going and thus always breaking her heart. Jean had to learn to fend for herself at a young age, but with her hell-bent and determined attitude to never, EVER be hurt by another human being again, came a profound mistrust and an abysmally low sense of self-worth. The internal tug-of-war constantly raging within her would produce a profoundly confounding individual that no one could figure out. At once brave, cynical, and stubborn, Jean too was meek, soft, and childish. For example, before scenes on Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, it is rumored that Jean could be found in her dressing room vomiting. Getting her onto set, on any of her films, was a chore. She never thought she looked right, she was never ready emotionally... She had to be coaxed and soothed onto set, which perturbed many an actor, director, or crew member that had to work with her. When she made it into the spotlight though, boy oh boy! Jean Arthur, the fretful, worrisome, "difficult" actress did not exist. Only a lovable girl armed with smarts and full of heart remained. 

Jean, trying not to scream, in a 

rare cheesecake photo

When in the hands of directors Frank Capra or George Stevens, she was captured best. Opposite the most handsome leading men of the day-- Cary Grant, Gary Cooper, John Wayne-- she still steals the show. The thing is, Jean didn't want to be captured or stolen. Or trapped! She loved liberty above all, and spoke to a generation of women who were still struggling to find their own voice and independence. It seems that squeaky Jean spoke for them as well. Jean's talent was a source of this liberation, but also a burden. As at home as she was on the stage, she was equally tormented by a fear of failure. The more success she gained, the more she believed that it would all crumble out from under her. This explains the erratic behavior in her later years, where she started several plays only to walk out on them before their run was up. "Peter Pan," "Joan of Arc," "Born Yesterday..." Her fear of rejection caused her to reject herself. Needlessly so.

When you watch her movies today, there is but one word: adorable. Even if this woman-- who was a competitor with Garbo for the Elusive Queen of Hollywood-- never believed herself to be so. In fact, she fled the paparazzi flashes as much as she sought the film cameras. This winner of the "Sour Apple Award" may have left a bad taste in the mouths of many in the industry, but to her fans she was always a savory peach! She remains indefinable and untouchable. A mystery, an enigma, a question left unanswered. What she is is what she always set out to be-- one hell of an actress! Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, The More the Merrier, The Talk of the Town, Shane, You Can't Take It with You--- all classic films starring one classic dame. An unparalleled career; a devoted talent. Despite her, you gotta love her: Jean Arthur.

For much, much more, here ya go!

STAR OF THE MONTH: Jean Arthur

MENTAL MONTAGE: Star Search

After one has been working in the industry for awhile, it only makes sense that he or she develop a knack for spotting other hopefuls who may have what it takes to find fame and fortune. Many actors and actresses are noteworthy for the selfless and helpful natures that from time to time compelled them to lend a hand to struggling hopefuls trying to make it in La La Land. I guess if you have that special X-factor, it gives you the ability to see it in others. Here are some examples of Stars finding Stars, or at least Stars predicting bright futures for some unsuspecting diamonds in the rough...

 May's lady, Ms. West, knew a thing or two about quality. She also knew a thing or two about men. There would be many times in her career when she would give a leg-up to a performer if she thought he or she had talent, but she is most notorious for finding the gentlemen gems that she cast in her films. For example, she boosted an already seasoned Randolph Scott's career when she cast him in Go West Young Man. She nicknamed the handsome actor "Randy," because she "could tell he was." (Haha). 

Most memorably, however, Mae made a movie star of Cary Grant. Some rumors remember Mae as discovering Cary when he was kicking up stones outside the Paramount gate, hoping to be chosen as an extra for a current shoot. This isn't completely accurate. Cary had already made several films with substantial-- albeit not breakthrough-- roles in films opposite the likes of Marlene Dietrich (in Blonde Venus). Thus, by the time Mae found him, he wasn't exactly on the extra market anymore. In truth, to Mae's own recollection, she heard Cary before she saw him. The uncanny accent reached her ears as she was sitting in her dressing room. Quite curious about the source of such a booming and almost regal sounding voice, Mae looked down from her window and saw Mr. Grant, finding his looks even more charming than his playful pipes. She decided then and there that she MUST have him in her new picture, and first starring vehicle, She Done Him Wrong. She did him right, because it was this film that shot Cary to super-stardom.

Both of Mae's finds became chums later.

When the saucy Norma Shearer retired from MGM, she lost none of her leading lady luster.Widowed after the death of Irving Thalberg, she took up with a ski instructor, and younger man, Martin Arrouge, solidifying her wildcat reputation long before "Cougars" were the rage. It was actually while staying at a ski lodge that she happened to notice a photograph of a lovely, young girl sitting at the reception desk. Norma recognized the unknown beauty as a star-in-the-making, and suggested that the girl's parents-- both employees of the hotel-- send their daughter to MGM. A kind recommendation to studio heads from Norma scored the young Janet Leigh a screen test and coincidentally a booming career. Had it not been for Norma's eye for talent, Psycho's shower scene would not have been quite so infamous, and Toni Curtis would have been short a wife-- (only one out of 6, but still)! 

Norma also helped out the lads from time to time. Since she clearly had an eye for a good-looking fella, it comes as no surprise that she scored another hit when skimming young men at the pool. Robert Evans happened to be sitting poolside when approached by Norma. At her suggestion, he tried his hand at acting, ironically portraying her first husband, Irving Thalberg, in the Lon Chaney biopic Man of a Thousand Faces, though he would have much better luck as a producer.

It makes more sense for directors to have a good eye for actresses, since they are always scouting out potential leads for future roles, but the way Alfred Hitchcock found Tippi Hedren is quite interesting. Hitch was sitting at home watching "The Today Show" (of all things), and during a commercial break, he caught a glimpse of the delicate and ravishing blonde in a Sego commercial. Hitch was immediately taken with the young model and had Universal call her in to sign a contract. Tippi, who was single and supporting her young daughter (Melanie Griffith), was all too thrilled at the chance to be a steadily working actress. In fact, so shocked was she at the amazing opportunity, that she didn't get around to asking who her mysterious director/benefactor was until after she had signed her new contract! Not only did she find that she was to be working with the famed "Master of Suspense," but for her first major role she would be playing the lead in his next picture, The Birds! One commercial for a diet drink and her life was forever changed. (However, had she known the repercussions of working with the obsessive Hitch, she might have dropped the Sego and run for the hills. For more on that story, as well as Hitch's strange relationships with his woman, read on here).

And finally... One day, a young mother was taking a walk with her baby girl. After covering some ground, she took a rest on a park bench and parked the stroller beside her. (If memory serves, she was at some sort of pier, but I could be way off. It's been awhile since I heard this one). Anywhoodle, an elderly woman happened to be walking by, and she stopped to peer into the baby carriage. She remarked on the child's beauty and predicted that the infant would be a big star some day. Since the baby grew up to be Brooke Shields-- the 6-foot-tall model, memorable for her Calvin Klein Jeans, full eyebrows, Princeton education, and performances in films like The Blue Lagoon and Pretty Baby-- it seems that the mysterious lady had a keen eye for star power. However, Teri Shields had no idea of what lay before her daughter at this point and was both proud and baffled when the woman walked away without another word. Even more perplexing than the glamorous prediction itself was the person it had come from, for despite the woman's age, Teri recognized Greta Garbo right away. If there was one woman who knew beauty, it was Greta, and the other beauty, Brooke, would grow up to fulfill all of the famous and enigmatic screen siren's expectations.

MENTAL MONTAGE: Star Search